On Instagram I get asked this question a lot “how do you keep your house so clean with kids” The answer is..wet wipes, a bucket of white paint and a prayer. Now to give you an idea of what im faced with daily im gonna work with percentages 85% of the time my kids are amazing, well mannered, well behaved children, 15% of the time they are just plain Wild and im not even exaggerating
One time a few years back my son then (2) My daughter then (4) went to the kitchen whilst everyone was sleeping, got 2 x 6 litres of milk and 4 large cartons of fresh orange juice and created a swimming pool on the floor of their bedroom…an actual wave of orange and milk greeted me as I entered their room, do you know what happens to milk and orange juice when its mixed together…it curdles! And do you know what happens to ceilings when the floor cocktail starts to seep through the floorboards, well ill tell ya…it results in having to re plaster the ceiling and replace your brand new light fittings, but further to that you also have to rip up the NEWLY laid bedroom floor so you can clean like a crazy women as its now beginning to smell! The great Orange and Milk fiasco of 2014….ahh good times♥
Its not just beverages their skilled with either, one day as I was talking to someone at the door, my son and daughter were in the dining room, I returned to find grated cheese on the floor, I assumed they,d been fridge picking, I cleaned it up and got on with my day, 2 weeks later! I went to the book shelf in the dining room, picked out a book, opened the book and found grated cheese squished within ALL the pages, which by the way was starting to turn a very un appetizing colour. Now one book is bad enough, but a total of 12 books were assaulted and all of them where beginning to whiff. I was at the door for no more than 5 minutes, the speed and accuracy they showed pulling of this feat is actually unbelievable, and Cheese! in books! They have a creative genius that I don’t really understand..but I hope they put it to good use one day
My son now 5 years old had an argument with his sister, she stamped her feet, went to her room and slammed the door, my son now very unhappy with his sister, decided to put her in Jail…literally! He drew with a sharpie! huge bars on her bedroom door, adding a picture of her behind the bars looking sad and wrote at the bottom Isabelles Prison. Sharpie ink does not scrub off!
Oh another one, Our Bulldog Maddie once had to walk around for a couple of weeks with a Hitler moustache and dalmation spots, I was out at the time and my Hubby was in charge. I have a hundred of these tales of woe and I often joke with my husband that I could write a bestselling book titled “you wouldnt believe the cr*p my kids do” And with many years of childhood ahead of us I fear ill add many more to the memory bank very soon.
So as you see keeping my house clean, tidy and un assaulted from my children is incredibly hard, but for 85% of the time it does get easier. I no longer worry too much about the 24hr neatness of my home either. When the kids are in bed or in school my home is tidy and feels like it should again for however short a time that is. Also I don’t go into a blind panic anymore when unexpected guests arrive, if someone shows up at my door and there’s toys on the floor, pots in the sink, a pile of laundry, the whiff from a freshly changed nappy still lingering in the air (why do people always want to visit, right at that time?!) Its my home, I have kids, lots of them and I cannot be apologetic about that..but I used to be, I’d say ‘oh Sorry, dont mind the mess, ive been busy, im getting to it’ But no more…because its exhausting! So now I do what I can, if I can. If I spent every waking moment, cleaning, worrying about sticky fingerprints and generally stressing out, then I wouldn’t get to spend any real time with the beautiful reasons for all the chaos in the first place would I ?..my kids
Lifes to short people! I’m the Mama not the Maid ♥